Silver
by TickTockClockWork
Summary: What if Jem hadn't proposed to Tessa right away, giving Will time to confess to her before Jem could make made his own feelings known? Wessa, Jessa, and drama.
1. Chapter 1

"Your place is with me," Jem said. "It always will be."

"What do you mean?"

Jem fiddled with the lining of his pocket, willing himself to say it, to ask her. The words were swirling in his mind like his _yin fen_ dissolving in water: _'Tessa Gray, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?'_

Even so, with those words prepared, he could not say them out loud. He looked at Tessa out of the corner of his eye; she was beautiful in the moonlight, her eyes large and curious. Jem couldn't allow her to love him. He was a dead man walking; he had been for over five years now. He  
couldn't set Tessa up for such a disappointment, not if he truly loved her.

"Jem? Are you alright?" Tessa asked, her expression concerned as she raised a hand to touch Jem's shoulder. Shaken from his musings, Jem blushed and turned further away from Tessa.

"It's nothing," he said with a slight shake of his head. "I'm just tired, that's all. It's quite late..." he trailed off, halfway hoping she would leave, half that she would resist and make him speak.

But Tessa was polite and proper, and moreover cautious of Jem's health; of course she would leave immediately. He was right.

"Alright, Jem. Sleep well," she said with a smile, and walked across the hall to her room without a glance back. The door was gently closed before Jem could respond.

He sat on the edge of his bed and slowly ran a hand through his silvery hair with a sigh. He could not love Tessa; he could not do that to her. Even if she were to accept him, knowing that she would have to go through such pain made him despondent.

Opening the box at the table next to his bed, he stared at the shiny powder that coated the bottom. He took the powder between his first two fingers and brought them to his mouth. The numbness and heat overcame his mouth at soon as the _yin fen_ reached his lips. Perhaps, he thought morbidly, this would be the dose that finally finished him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Come along," Will said, guiding Tessa by the arm out of the rain and into the front doors of the Institute. Tessa looked behind her at the others that had previously accompanied her and Will in the carriage, wondering whether they should wait for the others. Will, however, was insistent that they get inside.

As they made their way into the drawing room, Tessa felt her heart skip a beat as she noticed Will's expression. It was desperate and wild with something Tessa did not quite recognize. However, as Will began to draw closed the bolt on the door.

"Will, why are you locking-"

And suddenly Will had embraced her, roughly yet lovingly, with such force that she had stumbled against the wall. Tessa gasped in surprise.

"Will," she whispered, but she was again cut off, this time by a kiss. She could taste the rain on his lips, and she could feel fire in every breath they each took. She found herself lost in the kiss, and she couldn't gauge how long she stood there, pressed against the wall.

When they finally broke apart, the only sounds in the room were the sounds of the pair's heavy breathing until Will finally spoke.

"Tessa Gray," he whispered, "I love you."

Tessa looked at him in shock. She couldn't recall Will ever saying those words, not even to Jem, the only true friend Will seemed to have.

_Jem._

His name flashed through Tessa's mind like a lightning bolt, reminding her of her and Jem kissing in his room. This was not the first time she had been torn between the two boys before. She turned from Will fractionally in protest.

"Will, I don't think..." Tessa trailed off, unsure of what to say. "I mean, why?" Tessa berated herself for such an unintelligent answer, though her head was still spinning from the kiss. She noticed, her heart heavy, that Will's eyes had turned from lustful and happy to hurt and betrayed.

"Tessa, do you not believe me?" he spoke regretfully.

"After everything you've said to me- every time you've pushed me and all the others away- how could I?"

Will swallowed. "Tessa, I had to. You must understand. I _had _to. Please," he pleaded, his voice cracking, "_please,_ hear me out."

The nature of Will's voice as he begged Tessa to listen to him broke her heart even more, and she nodded her head in acceptance.

Tessa's head was soon reeling at Will's story: when he was twelve, he had found a Pyxis in his father's office. Curious, Will had opened it, unleashing a demon who had claimed that anyone who loved Will was doomed to die. Will hadn't been sure whether he should believe it or not- but his sister's horrible death that night had affirmed his worry. Terrified, Will had run from his family and come to the Institute, refusing to see his parents and pushing away anyone who had tried to get close to him. He was alone, at such a young age, thinking nobody could ever love him- until Jem came along. Jem, Will had reasoned, was dying anyway, and so the curse would have no effect on him.

Will paused for a moment in his story, allowing Tessa to mull it over. Thoughts flooded Tessa's mind like tides coming onto the shore. _He's pushed everyone away for over five years. His behavior, unpleasantness, distance... it was all just to protect the people around him._

"I was going to live by myself when I turned eighteen," Will continued. "I didn't want to affect anyone else with the curse. But then you came along, and you changed everything."

Tessa gave him a confused look. "Me? But how?"

"You made me laugh, Tessa. You made me laugh like it was nothing. The only person to make me laugh in the last five years has been Jem. Despite myself, I started," he looked down, and returned his gaze to Tessa. "I started loving you."

When Tessa looked up at him with wide eyes, Will started quickly speaking again.

"But there is no curse, Tessa. There was never any curse on me. So, please, would you consider it?"

"Consider what?" Tessa asked, although she already knew the answer."

Will licked his lips nervously. "Consider," he murmured, "loving me."

At that, Tessa's mouth curved upward into a smile and she threw her arms around Will's neck.

"William Herondale," she declared, "I love you."

For once, Will wasn't filled with dread at these words, nor did he push Tess away. Instead he wrapped his arms around Tessa's waist slowly and grinned. The sank to the floor gently as Will leaned in to kiss Tessa once more.


	3. Chapter 3

"Charlotte? May I have a word with you?"

Charlotte Branwell looked up from her nearly finished letter to see Jem's timid face in the doorway. She smiled warmly up at him from where she was sitting at her desk.

"Of course, Jem; there's no need to be so formal," she reminded him, though she knew it was just his kind nature. Jem smiled back at her and took a seat on the trunk against the wall. He seemed nervous, Charlotte noted; the aura about him was different from his usual mild one. She looked at him in concern, ever worried for his health, but he appeared to be in a good way. Still, she reminded herself, that matter could easily change at any moment. Shaking away morbid thoughts and memories, she turned so that she was facing Jem more directly.

"What's the matter?" Charlotte asked kindly. She noticed him blush ever so slightly, and she wondered what sort of problem this was going to be.

"Well, um," he mumbled quietly, looking down at his thin hands which were, at that moment, twisting in anxiety. Charlotte said nothing for a few seconds, waiting for him to gather his thoughts.

He continued, "Charlotte, please listen, I..."

He trailed off again, and Charlotte couldn't help but smile at how flustered he was acting.

"Jem, you know you can tell me anything," she said softly, pleased when he raised his head a little. Jem took a deep breath.

"I... love Tessa."

Charlotte shot up in surprise. She had always had a suspicion that Jem had liked Tessa, even thought off-hand that they would be good as a couple; she was never under the impression that it was actually true! She chuckled to herself and Jem turned his head away from her in embarrassment, his silvery hair acting as a makeshift curtain.

"That's wonderful, Jem!" she exclaimed happily, wondering why Jem was so flustered by it.

"That's not it," he muttered.

"What is it, then?"

"I think..." Jem trailed off once more, but then suddenly regained his confidence. "I think I want to marry her." Charlotte tried to cut in, but he kept speaking before she could do so. "I tried to propose to her. Last night, I mean. I had my family ring in my pocket and I started to say this whole speech I prepared," he took a breath, "but I couldn't ask her and I don't know if I can, if I'll ever be able to. Help me?" he finished, taking rapid, shallow breaths and looking desperate for Charlotte's advice. Charlotte looked at him for a moment, and Jem was sure she would call him crazy and dismiss him, but she simply smiled once again.

"Jem," she said, not entirely sure where to start. _Might as well let him vent a little,_ she thought. "Jem, do you love her?"

Jem was clearly surprised, and Charlotte noticed him blush again, the color looking strange against his normally pale skin. However, his jaw was set and determined. "I love her, Charlotte. I love her so much it hurts sometimes." He swallowed, his breath catching as he coughed slightly. Charlotte was alarmed, but he continued. "I don't know what to do," he said simply, a miserable tone to his voice.

Charlotte was surprised at Jem's behavior; he rarely talked about his feelings, and never those of romance. "Jem," she said, "any girl who saw how much you loved her would accept you as her husband in a second. No infidelity to Henry, but you truly are the perfect guy," she said lightly, trying to ease his tension. She laughed inwardly when he smiled sheepishly and blushed even more, but was disappointed when he shook his head.

"I'm not, Charlotte," he whispered, "I mean, look at me. I'm- well, I'm dying." Charlotte was about to scold him from talking so casually of it, but he put up his hands and continued. "I'm dying and it wouldn't be fair to Tessa. I don't want her to have to go through that."

Charlotte sighed, thinking of Will and how he would be after Jem passed. She always thought of Will when she thought of Jem; they were connected in every way, bound more by their friendship and love than by their oaths and Marks. Charlotte knew that Jem was thinking of him too, and realized why he would want to force that grief on anybody else.

"You," Charlotte declared, "need to start thinking more about yourself. She's going to be sad when you... go, whether you're married or not. If you love her- if you truly love her- you need to tell her. You deserve to be happy, Jem, and I know that you will make Tessa happy, too."

Jem looked up at her with hope in his silver eyes, making them brighter that they were previously. "Charlotte," he said, beginning to smile, "thank you. So much. Thank you."

Charlotte grinned at his expression. _Like a child on Christmas morning,_ she thought. "Anytime, Jem. Good luck!"

Jem, his growing grin now rivaling that of a child on Christmas, got up with seemingly ten times more energy than he had moments ago. He nodded his thanks to Charlotte once more, and she nodded back as she watched his fragile form depart.

**So sorry for the delay on this. I was stuck for a while, and I know this chapter is a little boring, but there's more to come! Suggestions, thoughts, and constructive criticism are all welcome and encouraged. Thank you for reading!**


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